January 31, 2011

The Hollywood Saggy and Baggy Awards.

I was thinking whether I would make a good catty runway critic for Hollywood gatherings.
I usually like to find something nice to say about everyone  but, sometimes its not so easy.
Here are a few outfits from the recent SAG awards that I found to be wanting.
You might not agree, but that is the fun of it all.

Here is Angie Harmon in a dress made from a variety of dead water fowl.  They just wrapped them around her waist and hid the beaks in the back waist band.

Hailee Steinfeld is wearing  the JC Penney teen bedspread her mother got for her bedroom. This piece of material once graced the top bunk. Completing the ensemble is an uncombed 70's hair style.

Helena Bonham Carter has a way of looking like everyone's eccentric spinster aunt. Usually with an eccentric name like "Aunt Flootie" or something.
She is the one who travels the world,smokes cigarettes in a long holder,  wears huge old lady curls and pompadours piled unceremoniously on her head and  clothing retrieved from an  old steamer trunk.
The trunk has travel stickers on it:  "Bangkok 1930", or  "Pike's Peak or Bust"

They usually wear a long scarf wrapped 20 times around the neck too.
You are always worried what will come flying out of her mouth when she gets ready to speak.It will be outrageous and unprintable.
You are quite sure that Auntie is always just a little bit tipsy.

Kate Mara is wearing her version of Scarlett O'Hara's window accessories dress.  
This one features venetian blinds and dust ruffles from her grandmothers home.
It only goes to prove that you can literally make clothing out of anything.

Hasn't Hollywood ever heard of girdles? Are they not made anymore?
When  your belly is larger than your chest it is time for a girdle.
The shoulders on the dress look like something out of Buck Rodgers or Star Trek.
Maybe she is pregnant?
If so, whatever happened to looser styles that don't make you seem to have swallowed a basketball?

Well, it's umm, interesting .Kind of cheap looking and channeling Zena Warrior Princess.
This is a Walmart special.

The hair is something you look back on years later and deeply regret.
The side wings pull her face down making her look years older. No one looks good this way.
Would look nicer without the center part and perhaps parted to the side. Few can wear a center part and get away with it.

But the dress is a lovely, classic rich black velvet and she looks stunning in it, I think.

Amy Adams looks flat chested and her arms and shoulders look doughy in this dress.
I don't think too many could pull of a dress like this though.

 I have no words....
This.. "dress" just leaves me sitting here staring incredulously. Its like not being able to look away from a train wreck.
The skirt looks like it is taking  root into the ground beneath her.

 Vampira's Bathrobe.

 Ok what do you think? Was I too tough on them?


  1. Annie you could replace Joan Rivers' commentary anytime! LOL :D

    I always wonder "what were they thinking?" when i see fashions like this, but I guess they belong to the "any buzz is good buzz" school of thought, and if they get criticized they don't care as long as they get noticed.

  2. Hi Annie! I totally agree with you on these dresses...what were they thinking? Did they forget to look in a mirror before they left home? Well, I enjoyed our 4 days of beautiful weather but rain, cold, sleet and snow are on the way. Hope you're having a fabulous Monday!
    Hugs and blessings,

  3. Hi Annie,
    Great critique but in Melissa Leo's defense she is 50 years old and could not be preggy and I saw some other pictures of her in that same dress and that tummy did not look like that :) Angie Harmon is so beautiful she could wear a potato sack and still look good lol but that dress was over the top for sure. Hope you are staying warm :)Hugs, Dru

  4. Oh I love it, Annie! We used to dish about the dresses all the time on my blog. Wish you had been around for "Homework!" I felt the same about most of the dresses you commented on... Amy Adams looked like a mummy and if you're already small on top, why smoosh them in bandages? My favorite dress and look was Annette Benning- fab for 50's! For a younger girl, I loved Lea Michelle from Glee. Another dress I didn't like was Nicole Kidman's. Can't wait for The Oscars! Hope you don't get hit too hard from the storm that just left us- it was just a nice rain here. (((Hugz)))

  5. Ciao Annie, happy last day of Jan.! :)
    Oh, great critique, well done! ;) You should do it more often.

    Thanks for letting me know about Jovanotti's video, I used another URL, hope it will work now. It's a nice song, dedicated to Jovanotti's mom that just died (Considering that love is priceless, I am willing to do anything to get a bit of it, I will pay all the offered love, all the love I have. Without you I would be all in vain, like a sword that pierces a dead body. Without love I would be just a charlatan, like a ship that never leaves port). And about your dad, have you ever been to Glasgow? :)

    Happy February ahead! Hugs!

  6. This is the most fun I've had in ages !
    Your comments are those of seemingly the only voice of reason . The "dead water fowl" dress
    was too funny( had me rofl...long and loud ) and the second to last ,using the last of the Mason-Dixon Museum's cache of Civil War bandages , was just sad .I guess those ladies have to wear whatever designer will dress them , but , really !
    Keep warm and well...may Spring come soon !
    love the new signature...

  7. sample comment for blog adim


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