The Hollywood Saggy and Baggy Awards.

I was thinking whether I would make a good catty runway critic for Hollywood gatherings.
I usually like to find something nice to say about everyone  but, sometimes its not so easy.
Here are a few outfits from the recent SAG awards that I found to be wanting.
You might not agree, but that is the fun of it all.

Here is Angie Harmon in a dress made from a variety of dead water fowl.  They just wrapped them around her waist and hid the beaks in the back waist band.

Hailee Steinfeld is wearing  the JC Penney teen bedspread her mother got for her bedroom. This piece of material once graced the top bunk. Completing the ensemble is an uncombed 70's hair style.

Helena Bonham Carter has a way of looking like everyone's eccentric spinster aunt. Usually with an eccentric name like "Aunt Flootie" or something.
She is the one who travels the world,smokes cigarettes in a long holder,  wears huge old lady curls and pompadours piled unceremoniously on her head and  clothing retrieved from an  old steamer trunk.
The trunk has travel stickers on it:  "Bangkok 1930", or  "Pike's Peak or Bust"

They usually wear a long scarf wrapped 20 times around the neck too.
You are always worried what will come flying out of her mouth when she gets ready to speak.It will be outrageous and unprintable.
You are quite sure that Auntie is always just a little bit tipsy.

Kate Mara is wearing her version of Scarlett O'Hara's window accessories dress.  
This one features venetian blinds and dust ruffles from her grandmothers home.
It only goes to prove that you can literally make clothing out of anything.

Hasn't Hollywood ever heard of girdles? Are they not made anymore?
When  your belly is larger than your chest it is time for a girdle.
The shoulders on the dress look like something out of Buck Rodgers or Star Trek.
Maybe she is pregnant?
If so, whatever happened to looser styles that don't make you seem to have swallowed a basketball?

Well, it's umm, interesting .Kind of cheap looking and channeling Zena Warrior Princess.
This is a Walmart special.

The hair is something you look back on years later and deeply regret.
The side wings pull her face down making her look years older. No one looks good this way.
Would look nicer without the center part and perhaps parted to the side. Few can wear a center part and get away with it.

But the dress is a lovely, classic rich black velvet and she looks stunning in it, I think.

Amy Adams looks flat chested and her arms and shoulders look doughy in this dress.
I don't think too many could pull of a dress like this though.

 I have no words....
This.. "dress" just leaves me sitting here staring incredulously. Its like not being able to look away from a train wreck.
The skirt looks like it is taking  root into the ground beneath her.

 Vampira's Bathrobe.


 Ok what do you think? Was I too tough on them?